Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook

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[center][large]Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook[/large][/center]



[justify]Why do all modern managers do the same bizarre things? Are these methods taught in business schools? Do managers learn by watching more experienced managers? Is it the result of mentoring?
None of the above!

Every manager learns from the same source: Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook. This valuable management handbook teaches new-managers how to transform themselves from bitter and bewildered "little people" into fully functioning, paradigm-spewing management zombies.

In this indispensable guide, Dogbert reveals the many vital skills needed by managers in their daily lives, including:

* The power of verbal instructions?sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability!
* Empty promises of promotion?enjoy all the motivational benefits with none of the costs!
* Pretending to care?learn to hear without listening!
* Company newsletter?communicate without the risk of conveying information!
* Competition?experience the joy of setting your people against one another!
* Decision making?be a leader without making any decisions!
* Incentives?inspire employees by giving them worthless knickknacks!

Remember: Leadership isn't something you're born with. It's something you learn by listening to Dogbert tapes.

A world-class consultant and bestselling author, DOGBERT has spent much of his life giving advice to gullible people with disposable incomes. His brain has many more crevices than yours, so you'd better do what he says.[/justify]

[center]Dogbert on Management.zip (18.73 MB)
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[center][large]The Dilbert Principle[/large][/center]



[justify]"Dilbert books should be (and often are) read aloud while important office work is being put off, and luckily, the best reader of all, Adams himself, has put his interpretive skills on tape."
?Worth Magazine

Step aside, Nostradamus. Here comes the real soothsayer, and he's turning his eagle eye on everything from new work-avoiding technology to sex with aliens. With predictions that run the gamut on a wide range of hot-buttons, Scott Adams' absurdist, outrageously funny new audio, The Dilbert Future, may be his greatest achievement yet. In his inimitable style, Adams predicts we'll learn to harness the most abundant resource in the universe: stupidity.

As always, Adams' keen, hilarious wit is dead-on. Prediction: The Dilbert Future will be the most anticipated and well-received business book of the year. (It doesn't take a psychic to figure that out.)

When he's not cartooning or writing bestsellers, SCOTT ADAMS spends his time speaking at corporate functions and conferences. He has been featured in major national media, including Newsweek, People, "Good Morning America," "The Today Show," ABC News, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and "48 Hours".[/justify]

[center]Dilbert Principle.zip (16.04 MB)
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